Excuses, Excuses - Why We Make Them and How to Stop
Everyone makes excuses, whether it be regarding why a work project was late or how you may as well begin working out again on Monday. Excuses are part of our daily life. According to a 2020 study conducted by OnePoll, most people make an average of five excuses per day. Take a moment and think about the math on that one - almost 2,000 excuses per year.
We all know that those New Year's Resolutions don’t usually make it past February and sticking to the plan to reach a goal is usually abandoned before we really make any notable progress. As experts, we want to share with you why we sabotage ourselves by making excuses instead of working toward our goal.
For meaningful change to occur, you have to know the why behind your excuse.
Why excuses are used:
We need to protect ourselves. We are subconsciously protecting our ego, our sense of self, and how people perceive us. When we make excuses, we are rationalizing our behaviors. If you had to share a presentation or pitch at work and it did not go as expected. You may feel stressed or anxious about the outcome, and when approached about it your response would most likely be defensive. It can be difficult to accept criticism or input. Instead of being open and reflective, we often feel the need to guard ourselves and protect our character.
By shifting the blame away from our actions, we are in turn protecting ourselves. Looking at the example above, one may try to shift the blame as to why the presentation didn’t go as planned. You may be tempted to make an excuse such as, “If I had all the updated data it would have been better,” or “If my coworker had gotten their portion to me sooner, I could have caught the error.”
Suppose we fail to do something completely, even something simple like folding the laundry. In that case, we utilize excuses to justify our behavior. “I’ll get to it”... “It’s not going anywhere”...This shift of blame or focus provides our ego with a buffer. We have given ourselves permission to walk away from the task, thus stopping the progress we were striving to make.
Excuses are used when:
We doubt that we can achieve the goal. Many times goals stem from excitement and possibility. Often we are able to see the end goal, but not what it will take to get there. Once you begin to build a plan and initiate the steps to reach your goal, you’re in uncharted territory. Suddenly your brain begins chattering about the “what-ifs” and the doubts begin to creep in. By carrying doubt with you on your journey, the unknown or unexpected situations may throw you off course, causing your goal to feel like it is no longer achievable.
Know this, you have the ability to reach your goal. Rather than succumbing to the idea that you can’t continue, reach out for support. Support can come from friends, family, or The Goalden System team. While your support system cannot do the hard work for you, they can hold you accountable along the way. Your support system can provide a safe space for both concerns and celebrations.
We are outside our comfort zone. As humans, we don’t like change. Changing habits can feel uncomfortable. We establish routines and patterns of behavior over our lifetime that ‘work’ for us. So why would we go and change the status quo? Well, sometimes those patterns of behavior are not serving us or providing us with opportunities of growth. We prefer life when it is predictable, we know what to expect, and we feel in control over our world. When we start to modify or shift those daily patterns we can feel off balance. Author Roy T. Bennett said it best, “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
At The Goalden System, we recognize that change can be uncomfortable, difficult, or scary (and sometimes leads to a few too many excuses), but that is a natural feeling. Taking those first steps outside of your comfort zone is easier when you have a plan and support team standing by your side.
You don’t really want the goal you’re striving for. Hear me out on this one - if your excuse is “I just don’t want to do this anymore…not today…not tomorrow…not next month,” then chances are your goal wasn’t what you really wanted in the first place. It’s ok to change your goals, that’s part of the process sometimes. One of the most important factors in goal setting and embracing a growth mindset is being honest with yourself about what you truly want. The desire to set a goal and make long-standing change must come from within. Your goal is personal and unique. You initiate your goals because you are seeking change. Avoid setting a goal for someone else or because you think you should, as this won’t lead to long-standing habits being built.
Now that you understand why we make excuses and when they might occur, what should you do when you catch yourself making an excuse?
Take a breath and pause. “Why am I making this excuse?”
Remind yourself why your goal matters. “Why did I start this journey?” “Why is this journey important to me?”
Focus on the future. “If I halt my plan right now, how will it impact me reaching my goal?”
Think smaller. “What small wins have I accomplished today that I should be proud of?”
One of the most common barriers to success is ourselves. Reflect on the excuses that pop up in your daily life. How are they hindering your progress? Thinking about those situations, celebrate the wins and recognize room for growth. The more aware you are that you’re making excuses and how it influences your day, the more likely you are to shift your perspective. Awareness and reflection are important strategies to minimize those pesky excuses and clear the path to success.
